I’d like us to talk about marriage for a bit and explore how God views this union, as well as His purposes for designing such a deep unity between a man and woman.
Please take a few moments to read the below article. Take time to process what the message is really conveying. The voice is critical and it’s important we pay close attention to the perception it’s painting.
We will be cutting out pieces of it and placing those pieces next to the images God has for marriage. There we can view a side by side comparison out of the two vastly different windows the world and God sees from.
Read article here:
PIECE 1: GOD’S VIEW VS WORLD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
Think about your own marriage for a moment…. Or think about your future marriage. How does it look through your eyes? Do you see unity and Love or do you see division and fear? What has been your experience?
Marriage is a sacred and holy union between husband, wife and God. That is God’s template for marriage. A man has a vital role as a husband and a woman also holds a vital role as a wife. God’s view doesn’t perceive superiority over the two roles because He designed marriage to be union with one another, both equally dependent on each other. God’s view doesn’t perceive division between husband and wife because He designed marriage to be a oneness with Him.
So, why is the below piece of that article I included so disheartening? Why should we care about a young man’s view of marriage? Isn’t he entitled to believe what he wants?
The short answer is yes. He is definitely entitled to it. Is it fair, however, to assume that had this young man been taught better on God’s view and been shown clearer images of what that looks like it’s possible he would hold a different perspective?
That’s why we need to care.
There is so much depth to marriage, but we will focus on what this article suggests are one of the main causes leading younger men to feel this way by speaking directly to it.
I’m in no way suggesting women are all to blame or that all women feel this way. There are many factors causing this perception, but unfortunately this is one of them.
To the women who are a contributor to the men who feel this way,
You are beautiful. You have purpose. You are significant. There is no doubt about that, but you have taken it to a level where it has met the grip of pride, ego and superiority.
Your desire to be independent has become a mission to be better than our men.
Your desire to be heard has become a mission to berate and undermine our men.
Your desire to have meaning has become a mission in demeaning the purpose of our men.
You have allowed the world’s view to swallow so much of your true beauty. Purpose and significance.
You were designed to be equal to men, in terms of your differences, not in terms of being the same.
You were never created to do this alone or be fully dependent on yourself. That is the epicenter of pride and selfishness. Look at what it is doing to our men! It is stripping them of God’s purposes for them as husbands. It is causing them to feel meaningless, therefore seeing no benefit in marriage. They most certainly have meaning. Many of them aren’t trying to be better than you, compete with you or take anything away from you. They just want to Love you the way God designed them to Love you. They want to fill the role God designed them to have, whether they realize that or not.
Please just stop. Stop and pay attention.
Marriage is a lifeblood to raising healthy families. It is the most deep and intimate relationship you can have with another person. It was created to bring your differences as man and woman together…to become one. Please don’t let tainted experiences from past relationships or the pressure of modern society obscure the vital role a man has in our lives and in our children’s lives. It is literally killing them. Stop killing our men. Your role is just as vital. Just as significant. So, please stop murdering the hearts of our men. Stop trying to root yourselves in their soil. Your soil is just as fertile. Just as precious.
I hope you can one day find the joy that will manifest within your hearts; to which grows from the original roots God planted for both man and woman.
POINT 2: GOD’S VIEW VS. WORLD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
Have many women crossed the line with feminist views? There is a difference between standing up for the rights of equality and transcending it to the point many men are perceiving us this way. No?
Does extreme feminism play a role in severing the sacrecy of having a healthy marriage? One that God designed us to have?
“Women aren’t women anymore.”
This is a pretty powerful statement to make.
Where have all the good women gone?
What makes up a good woman? Not just women with aprons cooking in kitchens. We’ve come a long way from that labeling us as “good.”
Well, God says good women are indeed hard to find. When a man finds one God values them with far more worth than rubies.
According to God, a good woman is a rock to her man’s heart; stable in his confidence, steady to his trust. She ought to reflect goodness into him, helping him become the best possible version of himself. She ought to bring out all the God-designed values a man has with intent to Love, not to rip them out with intent to supercede.
Marriage is fragile and perfectly designed to work in harmony between husband and wife. We ought to strive to be this type of woman. To set examples by being these women, not only to thrive in our marriages, but also to give the men who feel this way another perception to consider.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being the wife God created you to be, no matter what the world attempts to recreate. The world’s version of marriage is designed to destruct, separate and eliminate; while God’s version is designed to build, unite and strengthen.
POINT 3: WORLD’S VIEW VS GOD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
No matter how devout some are to believe they can do it on their own, they cannot. Not without it causing an internal imbalance. Some can play a good act of being “okay” or out of fear of being wrong or showing weakness, continue to appear strong and together. But, inside, the deepest part of our being, something will feel off.
How arrogant is it for us to think we can alter God’s design without feeling devastating consequences?
God has clearly illustrated the substance to marriage to us. He tells us what will happen when we build our marriages from His design and warns us of the struggles we will endure if we build from the world’s.
Life is hard; at times brutal. God tells us in this life, we will have trials, but He gives us clear instruction on how admist such a broken world, we can still find joy. We were never created to do this alone. We are meant to bind to our spouses in the covenant of marriage God specifically designed for us to have.
So, how do we get through our trials and still be balanced with joy?
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
When two become three, we then become one, with God living right in the center of husband and wife, making us a shield to evil. Making us strong, balanced and proportioned to God’s will.
If we cut that cord that leads to God, away we drift into an imbalanced world of pain and suffering. There we will be masked to believe alone is good and marriages are false, all while fighting a continuous internal battle of constant longing and desire. Soon, the roots grow over what is beautiful and become the vines of the emotions that cause us pain and suffering.
POINT 4: WORLD’S VIEW VS GOD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
Woa. What’s this all about? Doesn’t the scripture below contradict how God views marriage? So, wait….now it’s good for us to remain single? Is the world’s view correct after all?
Unless the 49% of people who are reported as being single are choosing to be in order to dedicate their lives to serving the kingdom of God, they ought to not be single.
What Paul is saying here is that God gifted some people with singleness and some with marriage. But, God says it’s not good for man to be alone, so how can being single be a gift? If God places it on a person’s heart to stay unwed, it is usually accompanied with the strong desire to serve Him. For example, there are certain tasks and ministries that require a person to be away from home, which in turn would sever a marriage, or other callings that cannot meet the covenant demands of marriage.
The question is are these people remaining single because they feel called to serve God in these ways or are they single because of their tainted view of marriage? They feel women aren’t women anymore as this article suggests. It all comes down to the reasons in the heart.
If we stay single because of tainted reasons like this one and these statistics worsen, what will our families look like? How will our children be affected? How can we multiply with children effectively? How many of the 49% are being promiscuous?
Fair questions right?
The truth is probably many. And the affects that has on us and any children we birth from unmarried homes are detrimental. It’s challenging enough for many married couples to model the true institution of marriage in their families, let alone to be that model unwed.
Staying single should only be a choice if it is to serve God in ways that would restrict us from fulfilling our roles as a spouse.
These statistics in this article are subjectively speaking and it is vital we do a better job in illuminating the eternal purposes of marriage to others through our own.
Let others see the Joy, hear the harmony and feel the Love that derives from a God-centered marriage.
POINT 5: WORLD’S VIEW VS GOD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
These statistics are a bit alarming no? More than half of millennials agree being a good parent is one of the most important tasks a person can have. However, they are not seeing the vital link between parenting and marriage as being equally important.
What if I told you that your relationship with your spouse should take priority under the one you have with God? Would you think I was nuts? Well, it is and here’s why….
If we take the majority of millenials who claim having a successful marriage is insignificant and plug it into what we are seeing so much of today, we may have a clearer view of how that claim is wildly false. If we know marriage is a God-designed covenant created to reflect His image, if we know that two shall become one flesh with God, how can we effectively instruct our children while we are separated and expect to not reap the affects from it? How can we model the union of marriage to our children while we are modeling the normalcy of separation? Some may argue that their kids are fine and I won’t argue that, but just as I won’t argue that, they can’t argue that by modeling division what that doesn’t teach them:
That marriage is significant. That mom and dad need each other to fulfill the God-given roles as husband and wife.
That instruction from God is irrelevant. The fact that we are to train up our children in the way of God by loving and obeying His word.
The example of two God-fearing parents who teach the ways of God.
The vitality of the relationship between husband and wife; showing respect, honor and Love to one another, so their children can inhabit the true qualities of a God-centered marriage.
Before you assume this is too preachy or “out there” consider these questions.
1. How many divorced or unwed parents are BOTH on the same page when raising their kids?
2. How many children of divorced or unwed parents do not have 1 or both parents active in their lives?
3. How many children from divorced or unwed parents fall victim to the emotional avalanche between their parents, seeing anger, hate and pain?
I’m not saying they don’t exist, but I am saying they are rare. Why do you think that is?
If we see that broken and divided homes clearly affects our children, then is it much of a surprise that 70% of millenials cannot see the vital link between parenting and marriage? If many were never shown that, how can they see it? And what happens is these beliefs will breed the same, eventually stating that the relationship between mom and dad is unnecessary.
What kind of message are we sending?
If God tells us to obey and respect our children, while mom and dad are not respecting each other, how can they properly do so? If we don’t recognize what God created for us to have as a family, how can we expect them to?
As husband and wife, we ought to Love God first above everything else and then our spouses. We ought to lead by God’s instruction and mirror His image through our hearts. It is when we pave a path of Love and obedience for our children, that they may see the significance in our marriages and the difference it makes when they see a model of union and not division.
When they clearly see the importance in both the mother and the father’s roles, and how if broken, can sever the vein that carries the lifeblood in family, then perhaps these statistics will change.
POINT 6: GOD’S VIEW VS WORLD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE
No matter how hard the world tries to re-write the laws of marriage, they cannot erase what God has already written.
No matter how unimportant the world perceives marriage, they cannot fulfill the significance of it by being on their own.
The world will attempt to lead you in a direction that will stray you from the divine union between husband and wife. They will attempt to warp, distort and completely misconstrued the wonderfully designed covenant of marriage.
Remember that much of this thinking is a learned perception the world has painted in our minds. The world lies, but God does not.
Be an example of truth to the world. Live by God’s template of marriage, fulfill your roles as husband and wife and let that radiate into the soul of the world.
It’s what God says that is pure and good. It is what we recognize as His creation that glorifies His will, therefore making us powerful in Love and truth.
Husbands, love your wives and wives, respect your husbands. Let no man separate what God has joined together.